Today I saw my therapist for the first time since the election. I didn't really feel much like talking, so we did bodywork designed to help me feel supported and contained.
At one point I got hysterical thinking about my son, and how he's regarded by the people now in power here. And my therapist helped me through with a loving-kindness meditation, emphasizing the safety of my space and connecting it to a matrix of the many other people who are frightened right now, and how we need to help each other feel safe.
Wow, this shit is hard to describe. Anyway, I felt like I'd been giving a missing piece. (I first mis-typed 'peace', a truly subconscious typo.) I'm doing as much activism as I can. My family is giving money, making phone calls, joining action groups. But support for the emotional aspects of living in this time is important too.
And I remembered the poor "safe space" safety pin. I wore one for two days, before it was inevitably ruined and perverted by sabotage from the right and disgusting expensive jewelry versions. And... by anger from people I consider friends online.
And I don't want to blame or shame anyone for their anger. But I can't help feeling that anyone who said "the safety pin does nothing, it's only actions that matter" missed the point. Of course actions matter. They're vital, especially now. But feelings also matter. The safety pin was a way for me to express, "I'm frightened. I'm sad. If you're frightened and sad too, we're together in this. Let's help each other."
It really hurt me that people were so angry at me for making an effort to have that in my life. And I closed off. So I''m glad to be reminded that it's important to connect. It's important to feel for each other.